Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
