i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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