There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
