At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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