I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize