Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were trust falling into bushes
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