Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
