I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
