She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
