Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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