Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
