Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
