Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
