Got a toothbrush?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
