We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
