New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
