Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There r osticjed everywhere
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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