I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
