You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
