I heard we made out
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Tonightโs your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
