is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
