The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
