And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
