Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
