whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize