I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
