It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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