We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
