I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
