how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
