I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
