After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize