i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
