Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Jerry, you need to find god
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
