she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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