i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
