If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize