Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
