just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
