what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
