i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
