yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
