Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
