can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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