What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
