Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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