I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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