I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
