nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize