is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
