summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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