He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
