I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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