I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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