there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
