I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
