respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
