I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
