I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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