oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nicole vs. Life
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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