I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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