R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
