What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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