my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
