Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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