Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize