I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
