Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
