You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
