Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
