He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Two words: blizzard sex
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
