ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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