Your tits are I can't wait for
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
