I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
