I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
