you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
