Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
