nutella sex= disaster
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
