i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
