Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
