I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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