I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
